presentations

Learned optimism - or at least this blog post - https://github.com/raganwald/presentations/blob/master/optim... Changed my whole outlook.

It gets easier. But unfortunately it's not just a matter of putting yourself in the situations more (you'll just get accustomed to how you feel so it won't get you down as much, but you'll still feel anxious and leave). 2 things helped me a lot: mindfulness (I read "A New Earth", YMMV) and the book "Learned Optimism". I can't recommend that book enough. Doesn't sound like it has anything to do with anxiety, but it really does. Anxiety can come from a pessimistic outlook - the stories you make up for the things that go on around you that you don't have all the information on. For example, you say "it just feels like everyone is watching me". This most likely triggers thoughts like "everyone thinks I'm uncool" or "I must look so out of place" or "I'm so unattractive" etc. which makes you anxious about staying there, so you leave. And there

I had never heard of E-Prime, but this reminded me of Reginald Braithwaite's presentation "Optimism" [1]. He advocates becoming aware of when people use temporary or permanent language, and suggests using temporary language for criticizing other people and permanent language for praising people. This is a brilliant bit of human psychology that is highly practical in everyday situations. I don't know whether E-Prime is practical, it seems problematic to try to police the language itself, but the goals & rationale have a good heart. We probably would be better off if we could all speak less dogmatically and hyperbolically. I do recall someone here on HN mentioning attempts to create a new language in which one could not lie, I wonder if E-prime was what was being referred to... [1] https://github.com/raganwald/presentations/blob/master/op